LUTHERAN AIRLINES
WE ARE PLEASED TO ANNOUNCE LUTHERAN AIRLINES
NOW OPERATING IN MINNYSOTA! VISCONSIN, NORDEN MITCHIGAN, NORT & SOUT DAKOTA
If you are travelin soon, consider Lutran Air, the no-frills airline.
You’re all in da same boat on Lutran Air, here flyin is a upliftin experience.
Dair is no first class on any Lutran Air flight.
Meals are potluck:
Rows 1 tru 6. bring rolls” 7 tru 15, bring a salad.
16 tru 21, a hot dish and 22 tru 30, a dessert.
Basses and tenors please sit in da rear of do aircraft.
Everyone is responsible for his or her own baggage.
All fares are by free will offering and do plane will not land til da budget is met!!
Pay attention to your flight attendant, who will acquaint you wit da safety system aboard dis Lutran Air.
Okay den, listen up: I’m only gonna day dis vonce:
In da event of a sudden loss of cabin pressure, I am frankly gonna be real surprised and so vill Captain Olson. Because ve fly right around two tousand feet, so cabin pressure would probably mean da Second Coming or something of dat nature, and I wouldn’t bodder with doze liddle masks on da rubber tubes–you’re gonna have bigger tings to worry about den dat. Just stuff doze back in dair liddle holes.
Probably da masks fell out because of turbulence which, to be honest wit you, we’re gonna have quite a bit of at two tousand feet, sorta like driving across a plowed field…. But after a while, you get used to it.
In da event of a water landing, I’d say forget it. Start saying da Lord’s Prayer and just hope you get to da part about forgive us our sins, as we forgive doze who sin against us, which some people say ‘trespass against us’, but what can you do?
Da use of cell phones on da plane is strictly forboden, not because day may confuse da plane’s navagation system, which is by da pants all da way.
No, it is because cell phones are a pain in da wazoo and if God had meant you to use a cell phone, He wudda put you mout on da side of your head.
We start lunch right about noon and it’s buffet style wit da coffeepot up front.
Den we’ll have da hymn sing; hymnals are in da seat pockets in front of you.
Don’t take yours wit you when you go or I am gonna be real upset and
I’M NOT KIDDEN!!
Right now, I’ll say Grace:
“Come, Lord Jesus, be our guest
and let deze gifts to us be blessed.
Fader, Son and Holy Ghost,
May we land in Dulut or pretty close.”
